This just in: time changes everything. I know, it's deep. I recently got together with a friend I was briefly BFFAWs with. At the time-stamp of that label (Best Friends For a While), I was hurt, but the label was 148% accurate. We worked together, drank together, laughed together, cried together, had Disney movie sleepovers, etc. It was everything I wanted/needed at the time. I imagine it was reciprocal, but it felt belittled to know that this person knew that our time in the sun would run out.
But whatever. This isn't about being upset. It's about being happy.
We both left our mutual work and our lives intersected less and less. My thoughts of her became less frequent and I would see people that I thought were her more often than I actually saw her.
I emailed her the other day. We set up a time to meet up, eat together, drink together and potentially laugh together.
It's strange when you see someone for the first time in a long time and there's an understood level of intimacy that's still there. But the situation is different. Everything is different. Why is everything different? Our old friend, Time, has slowly shifted our reality into something else.
I know I'm not the same person I was three years ago. And clearly neither was she. Maybe? There was a familiarity to the tone and topics of conversation and the frank sentences and the unpredictable diction. But it wasn't the same. And I wouldn't say it made me nostalgic, but it did make me wish that it felt more comfortable - as comfortable as it had been once upon a time.
Don't get me wrong. It was a good time. It was everything it needed to be. We caught up, traded stories, shared some food, drank some beers. It was exactly what we planned for it to be. Just with an undertone of homesickness for that time that was accurately tagged "a while."
The less people have in common, the less they have in common. That sounds obvious. But with our separate lives now separated, there is less to keep us together. That sounds obvious too. But believe me, it's profound.
Life passing, time passing, people changing - it's a strange thing to witness. It happens slowly; so slowly in fact that it isn't necessarily easily observed in one's self. But in a time-shocked get-together, it's fascinating and strange and sad.