I say neigh

I’m ambivalent when it comes to horses. There’s always that girl or two in grade school that think that horses are the tits. I don’t know if Lisa Frank is still rocking it with school supplies – probably not – but the Horse Girls were always into that and the occasional dolphin scene.

Riding horses isn’t a talent that comes naturally. There seems to be a rhythm that you can’t immediately sync up with, like hearing some new form of music. And the downfall (hell, punishment) to not being able to catch on and move simultaneously with the manuring beast is getting racked in the crotch repetitively until you either get it or give up. It’s trial by crotch is what it is.

People think horses to be noble creatures. And I guess they are. But I have a hard time trusting an animal that you’re supposed to feel with your palm straight to ensure it doesn’t confuse your finger with a carrot.

I say neigh.