So here it is. I'll put it out there. I've recently gone through a breakup. A breakup with my man of 7 years. When you're only 31, that's a lifetime. I feel broken, snapped in half. But today is the first day that I've actually felt like expressing myself in writing. Everything was too raw before. It would have been nothing but curse words, rhetorical questions and tears on my keyboard.
However, that's not to say I'm better - I'm just getting by.
I'm sitting on my couch - my new couch that I'm using as a bed for the next week - watching The Bachelor. I haven't watched that show since I was a freshman in college. It hasn't changed at all and I feel transported back in time. And I could use a little time travel right now. Back to a less complicated time, back to a time before all of this went down.
Dinner? I don't know. I'm finding it hard to eat alone in this new place. I'm finding it hard to feel at home here. It's foreign, alien. At least I have the dog, right? Right. But back to dinner. It's not that I don't have lots of food in the fridge, but this doesn't feel like home. This doesn't feel like a place I normally feel. It feels like a dream. A nightmare of sorts.
They say with time, things will get better. Everyone keeps telling me that. And they keep telling me I'm doing the right thing. And they keep telling me I'll be better on the other side. How will I know when I'm there? How far away is it? Weeks? Months? Years? Who knows.
All I can do right now is focus on today. All I can do is take it one day at a time.
So here goes nothing, right?