Just a little bit dirty

I'll be honest, I could be more thorough in the shower. I get the basics, head, face, arms, armpits, boobs, belly, lady parts, bottom... but that's about it. I don't wash my neck, legs, feet or back.

My legs get attention when I shave them, so not only am I soaping off the dirt, I'm also shaving off any lose skin along with the stubble. I assume my neck and back get enough soap on them from the shampoo that runs down. And my feet are dancing around in soapy water throughout the entirety of the shower.

So technically, I feel like it's a good enough job.

My approach to cleaning my body the same approach I take when cleaning something like the kitchen. I'll give the counters a good wipe down because I know people will see that. Any chunks or spatters on stove are removed (I'll let you draw your own analogies). But I don't always move the counter appliances and get the dust and crumbs and coffee grinds that manage to make their way back there.

Or at least that's my justification for being a little bit dirty.

Arriving at an obvious conclusion

In interviews at work, one of the questions that I like to ask people is, "What is your biggest challenge?" It's intentionally open ended and could apply to anything. I dislike it when people hear the question wrong and think I'm asking, "What have you overcome in the past?" No, I don't care about that. It's interesting to hear someone identify what they're currently struggling with in life. Because whether your 22 or 72, there's a challenge in your life. And it doesn't have to be epic or monumental, but it has to be yours. And depending on the day, your challenge may shift. Today it hit me what my current biggest challenge is: time/expectation management. If I've got 13 things to do, I get overwhelmed easily. And they all have to get done RIGHT-FRICKIN-NOW. You know that saying about procrastinators, "Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today?" I take that in the worst possible way. I overexert and overextend my own limitations, both physically and, more importantly, emotionally.

Days begin and end with me in a tizzy trying to get too much done. But at the same time, it's not usually the things I want to be doing. I'm not reading and I'm not writing and I'm not painting. I thrive on creativity, but rarely have enough oomph to get around to it. So, by the time I get the cleaning, laundry and dishes out of the way, I'm too exhausted to want to do anything else.

And that's dumb.

But I don't know how to let that go. I need an altered mantra. Something like, "Put everything off that brings no inner-gratification til tomorrow so you can be sane today." But I want that to be more boiled down. It could be as simple as, "Consider yourself today." Or it could be scarier like, "You'll probably be dead soon. Don't waste it." But that starts to border on "Carpe diem." Hm. Maybe that's it.

Damn it.