Deck the halls

As far as I'm concerned, Christmas songs are fair game for air waves starting the day after Thanksgiving. And so it has begun. Christmas songs are chock-full of personal associations and accompanying memories. They repetitively evoke feelings and mental images year after year. Deck the Halls

  • I'm pretty much on board with any song that features the word, "troll."

Jingle Bells

  • What the hell is a bobtail?

Winter Wonderland

  • I always imagined Parson Brown was a character out of a black and white movie, like Cary Grant of Gregory Peck. Turns out Parson isn't a first name.

Little Drummer Boy

  • LEAST FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG EVER. Do we really have to interrupt every line with a pa-rum-pum-pum-pum? Maybe they should have just written more actual lyrics instead of having a filler inaccurate onomatopoeia.

Carol of the Bells

  • This song will always evoke the strong desire to watch Home Alone. And for that, Macaulay Culkin, I thank you.

Wonderful Christmastime

  • What a holiday monstrosity. It's like the Lamb Chop theme of Christmas.

Mannheim Steamroller's entire collection

  • Barf. That sums it up.

Because you had to be a big shot

Okay. Billy Joel. Yep, we're going there. I got in to work this morning and decided I didn't feel like deciding  what I was going to listen to for background noise all day (who could be bothered to have preferences so early?), so I logged in to Pandora.

(Aside. I wish they had a Pandora-esque site for movies. Like, "I really want to watch 'The Rock' right now, but not." And a computer - boop-boop-boop-boop-boop - would make computer noises somewhere out there among the series of tubes and tell me that I might also enjoy watching "Broken Arrow," "Con Air," or "Face Off." But it might throw a wild card in there too like "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," because it knows what I really want is Sean Connery being awesome.)

So, Billy Joel. Back on task.

I find that listening to the Billy Joel "station" is the best mix for me throughout a work day. You get some Billy Joel (naturally), Elton John, Beatles, Journey, Duran Duran, Cyndi Lauper, etc. It's mostly upbeat, I know a significant portion[1] of the lyrics and there's a sense of suspense and mystery. So this morning started off with Billy Joel's "Big Shot." Great. That's an acceptable way to kick things off.

And then I realized I've been singing it wrong since the 80s. Originally released in 1978, the lyrics to the chorus are as follows:

Because you had to be a big shot, didn't cha You had to open up your mouth You had to be a big shot, didn't cha All your friends were so knocked out You had to have the last word, last night You know what everything's about You had to have a white hot spotlight You had to be a big shot last night

This song, I realized, has absolutely nothing to do with some know-it-all teacher out late at night causing a ruckus. No, instead the misheard portion is the rhetorical, "didn't cha."

What the fuck?

I'll add that to the list of things I've been wrong about forever.

[1] Mind you, I said “significant,” and despite my endearing confusion, I stand by that quantification.