This Year's Presolutions

The holidays are a very bad excuse to indulge. The general trend in behavior is, “And the diet starts tomorrow!” But that never works out. And then we end up fat, lonely and depressed in the middle of winter with no more holidays to look forward to. Additionally, cold weather is such a buzz-kill to throw on top of all that short-lived motivation. So what can be done? Nothing! It’s hopeless.

To a point.

I didn’t mean to sound so pessimistic about it, but I’m coming around to a realization. Making New Year’s Resolutions is essentially setting you up for failure. The whole idea is supported by lazy dreamers. If there is something you want to be doing or you should be doing, why does an arbitrary date make any difference? It shouldn’t.

I’m here to advocate the Pre-Resolution or the Presolutoin, if you will. (And you will, damn it.)

Figure it out today, right now, this second, what it is you want out of your life. Is it the ever-constant desire to lose weight? Start now by just not gaining any over the next three weeks and start your New Year off right.

Plus, there’s always the truth that you might die at any moment. So… there’s that.

So go for it. Sky’s the limit. You can do anything you want and you can start as soon as right friggin now!

Me? What will I be doing?

1)      My first Presolution was to exercise more – something I’ve been doing consistently for well over a month now. Check!

2)      Another Presolution is to find more time to create. I started a new blog combining my love of drawing and puns – it’s fun, fast and gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Check!

3)      For my third Presoution, I’ve decided that I’m going to read whatever the heck I want! I’m not going to shy away just because a book may be on Oprah’s book list, nor will I feel ashamed that I too enjoy a bit of chick-lit from time to time. Check!

4)      Fourth Presolution. Honesty. It’s ongoing and it’s my biggest challenge. I’m not out to be insensitive towards others, but I am out to de-coat the sugar from what I say and how I feel.

5)      Five golden rinnnnngs! No, the fifth Presolution is to throw myself into work more. As long as I'm spending about 35% of my waking hours at my job, why not get the most out of it? I'm trying to do more, stay productive, generate new ideas, be more assertive, mingle with co-workers and generally kick it up a notch. Working can become ho-hum, but if you're lucky enough to work somewhere you're excited to be and have the opportunity to have opportunities, roll with it!

I feel like that’s enough for now. There are always things I can do to improve myself and even more, my enjoyment of life. And the thing is that I’m the only one standing in my way from making those things happen.

You are too. So get off your ass.

(Ahem. If you’re already off your ass, nice ass. Keep it up.)

Two Steps Forward

This just in: time changes everything. I know, it's deep. I recently got together with a friend I was briefly BFFAWs with. At the time-stamp of that label (Best Friends For a While), I was hurt, but the label was 148% accurate. We worked together, drank together, laughed together, cried together, had Disney movie sleepovers, etc. It was everything I wanted/needed at the time. I imagine it was reciprocal, but it felt belittled to know that this person knew that our time in the sun would run out.

But whatever. This isn't about being upset. It's about being happy.

We both left our mutual work and our lives intersected less and less. My thoughts of her became less frequent and I would see people that I thought were her more often than I actually saw her.

I emailed her the other day. We set up a time to meet up, eat together, drink together and potentially laugh together.

It's strange when you see someone for the first time in a long time and there's an understood level of intimacy that's still there. But the situation is different. Everything is different. Why is everything different? Our old friend, Time, has slowly shifted our reality into something else.

I know I'm not the same person I was three years ago. And clearly neither was she. Maybe? There was a familiarity to the tone and topics of conversation and the frank sentences and the unpredictable diction. But it wasn't the same. And I wouldn't say it made me nostalgic, but it did make me wish that it felt more comfortable - as comfortable as it had been once upon a time.

Don't get me wrong. It was a good time. It was everything it needed to be. We caught up, traded stories, shared some food, drank some beers. It was exactly what we planned for it to be. Just with an undertone of homesickness for that time that was accurately tagged "a while."

The less people have in common, the less they have in common. That sounds obvious. But with our separate lives now separated, there is less to keep us together. That sounds obvious too. But believe me, it's profound.

Life passing, time passing, people changing - it's a strange thing to witness. It happens slowly; so slowly in fact that it isn't necessarily easily observed in one's self. But in a time-shocked get-together, it's fascinating and strange and sad.

Spare a square

Dear person-at-work-who-left-an-empty-roll-of-toilet-paper-in-the-bathroom, May you soon be mauled by a bear. And not one of those cute little black bears that you might end up accidentally taking a nap with. No, I’m talking a big old grizzly motherfuck.

Sincerely, A-responsible-individual-with-basic-bathroom-etiquette-who-reserves-the-right-to-wish-wildlife-on-your-ass